Psalm 91: He that dwells in the Secret Place……

Please Pray for me as I aim to complete my book about God’s Faithfulness in the darkest times of my life, on a deadline to have it completed, Here is a taste : email me on or tag your name if you would like a copy.

He that dwells in the secret place of the Most High, shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty
Psalm 91

It was around the second week of January, when we were moved to the unit where i would serve alot of my Sentence, It was a unit at the top (The top meant, the units of around 35 men, with 35 cells, a kitchen and laundry as well as a exercise yard and a prison officer’s office) The bottom was the residential part of the prison where around 200 prisoners had a large piece of land to wander around all day and only six man units. Residental was reserved for prisoners who could be trusted.
It was nine months around October before i was allowed into Residential.
The unit we had moved into was just reopened after been closed for sometime, We were locked into our cells at 6pm and let out of our cells at 7.30am, every Wednesday was a lockdown day where we would be in our cell for the whole day or most of the day. For nine months i had never seen the moon or stars.
I didn’t know many of the prisoners i had moved into the unit with, it was very important to claim a seat at the dinner table so you would not be isolated and known as a loner.
February finally came around and i had served just around two months, i had just started to get used to been taken away from society, but i could not settle with the inmates i had to live with. I was excited to finally recieve a visit from my family and son from New Zealand, i was one emotional wreck and needed to share my emotions and what i was going through with someone who cared about me as a person, Just to remind me i am a human being and there is still love in the world.
The Cold Hard Brick walls seemed to express the emotions of most prisoners, Cold and Hard.
It was wonderful catching up with my family, after more than 2 years since i had seen them. 2 hours was not enough time to see them, but the call came, “Five Minutes”, The Prison Officer would say. I vividly remember watching my parents walk out the door and seeing them leave me broke my heart, I wanted to run out with them and wanted my Father to rescue me from the Hell Hole i had to go back into, Also it broke my heart that my own son would have to see his Father be locked away.
It was time to walk back down the concrete corridors with high barbed wire fences towards my unit, It is the most depressing feeling walking back to the unit after seeing your loved ones, it was like a cold hard slap in the face.
The morning before my parents visited me i was walking around the second floor of the unit with an inmate friend exercising, when i seen something moving in one of the cells, out of curiosity i looked into the prison cell and quickly looked away when i realised it was an inmate doing his business, Something inside of me told me, i had just done something i am going to pay a price for.
It was the afternoon after the visit with my parents, i was still on a high after seeing them, and went out into the prison exercise yard to reflect on the visit, When all of a sudden the same guy i had seen earlier that morning doing his business, was headed straight towards me, before i could contemplate why he was walking towards me, i seen a fist headed straight for my face, Whack !!!!!, that was one solid punch, He then walked away about five steps then turned around and decided one punch was not enough and he came towards me for a second time, All i remember was what happened that morning, and i quickly realised why he wanted to hurt me, I quickly spurted out some words and said “I am not a pervert or Gay, This morning was an accident, i did not look into your cell to perve at you, I am not like that, and i have a girlfriend. This must have worked because he didn’t hit me a second time, I thank God to this day that he didn’t come back again to hit me, as this guy had the biggest muscles i have seen on any prisoner at that time. I believe if he continued to hit me i could ave easily being killed as i found out later this guy was serving 17 years, and he didn’t care if he served longer.
I had been in jail for just on two months and had copped a whacking already, i was concerned as i had seven years to go.
When i recieved the hiding from this prisoner, there were around six inmates who laughed at me and mocked me and these guys decided to make my life hell for the next few months, They would call me a pervert and stand over me as a group.
I had no one to talk to and tell them that i was been hassled, i could not talk to the prison officer’s as this would mean i would have to go to the Protecion prison and that would be the easyway out, most nights i would sit in my cell staring at the green emergency button by the speaker in my cell and contemplate pushing the button, but if i did i knew i would be putting my life in more danger. These six guys would continue to harrass me day after day, when i would attempt to do the laundry two of the guys would expose themselves and request that i do them a sexual favor, (The laundry had no camera in it and the prisoners knew this) I would refuse time after time and walk away saying “You would have to kill me before i go anywhere near you”
I was told that i would have to clean their dinner tables every night, at first i refused, but after been threatened numerous times i budged, they would purposely make the table as dirty as they could, as i didn’t know any other inmates at this time to fight for me i was on my own,( but yet i wasn’t on my own, Jesus Promised he would never leave or forsake me, and though i was in prison serving my time or my crime, I had recommitted my life to Christ while i was on bail for two years) I could not talk to the prison officers (screw) as they were called, If you spoke to a prison officer for more than one minute, you would draw attention to yourself and become a marked man, But there was one person i could talk to that no one could stop me talking too and that was the Holy Spirit, Night after night i would be pouring my heart out to God, and telling him how i felt and begging him to move me to another unit away from the six inmates, making my life hell. I had to learn to fight in the Spirit Realm as Ephesians 6:12 says we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but evil powers in the high places. Pouring my heart out to God would always give me the strength to face the next day. One particular day i was in the kitchen making some toast, most of the guys hassling me were sitting on the kitchen bench as i was making the toast,, as i was minding my own business, all of a sudden i had threats made against me and was told what was going to happen to me, I would just laugh at the guys and say Jesus Loves you all, however i did feel at this time my life was in danger, later on that day i rang Ruth to tell her what was happening, However Ruth told me what was happening and she described to me the prison kitchen and the toaster and the stainless steel bench with brick walls around and also inmates sitting on the benches threatning me, She had dream or vision of me in the middle of all these guys in the kitchen, but also told me she had seen a massive ball of light
surrounding me. (Before i went to jail the Holy Spirit told me, His Glory will be my Rear Guard)
As mentioned earlier i would beg God to get me moved into another unit, i knew there were a few Christian inmates in the other unit, but God would not answer this request, if he did i would have been seen as weak and a marked man (God sees the bigger picture and sometimes his NO is for our protection)
One day after coming back from Church one of the inmates hassling me told me himself and the other inmates who were hassling were been moved to one of the Prison’s most dangerous units, I tried to hide the joy that welled up inside of me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s